I'VE GOT A NEW ATTITUDE

DEATHWATCH

12/?/10

I am tired today and not feeling very funny so I think I'll write about my impending demise. All of our demises are pending and mine is a few years closer than some and not as close as others. I've been feeling close to death since I was around 14. One night while in bed and going over the horrors of my life, I suddenly sat straight up with the thought of "I'm going to die someday!" Death was right there staring at me. We stared at each other. I panicked, got up, paced up and down the hall. Then I went back in to confront Death. We came to an understanding. We would stay away from each other as long as I didn't think about it with this kind of intensity. Sometimes that worked, sometimes it didn't. Since that time I have sat straight up in bed, got up, paced the floor, and come back to bed to confront Death many times. I've confronted it with students I've had when I taught, my grandparents, my mother and my father. As I age I figure I'll see Death soon enough so I no longer invite it to sit on my bed and scare me silly.

  

NOW SEE HERE YOUNG MAN!
12/26/10

Sometime last summer, a friend of ours ranted about how she'd gotten a ticket from a young policeman for what she felt was a minor infraction (and it was).  Not only that, he was young and obnoxius, which made getting a ticket much, much more maddening.  "You know," I responded.  "We are at the age now where we can say, 'Now see here young man!' "  Aren't I at the age now where younger people are supposed to respect me and all the great wisdom I have to offer?   For the most part this is true; however, there have been the occasional "red neck" type men in jacked up pickups who have taken acception to my driving and much younger coworkers with an attitude.  But when about to enter a convenient store in a more depressed area of town, I noticed a young man who looked to be a gang member standing by the door.  I clutched my "pocket book" tightly to my chest an continued on.  Then it happened, he held open the door for me!  I said thank you and he replied, "You're welcome mam."  It was wonderful.  I probably reminded him of his grandmother, bless her soul.  

CHRISTMAS BLUES 12/26/10 My stat counter indicates that I am the only one reading my blog.  An audience would be so much more motivating, however.  Although I love talking to myself and I don't need an audience for that, writing seems different.  Oh well, someday you all will discover my delightful sarcastic wit.  On my walk to the coffee house this morning, which is where I am most motivated to write to myself, I was once again analyzing my unjoyous Christmas mood.  Could it be my new, stressful job.  Yes.  Could it be I don't have kids or grandkids who bring back the magical feelings of the holiday?  Yes.  Could it be that Christmas in my life isn't sitting in the rustic and quaint lakeside second home (the "lake house")with bunches of family around being happily dysfunctional while hugging, having deep talks, singing catchy top 10 hits from the 60's, and dancing in the kitchen?  Not only that but they actually really LOVE each other.  Yes, that's the one.  I have seen too many trendy, hip holiday movies in my lifetime.  The problem is, I think everyone is having that kind of Christmas and probably only one family out of my handful of friends and aquaintances are having that minus lake house.  At least they don't have that.  Ha!